美夢: A Beautiful Dream
by morganiam
Summary: Miyu is afraid. Afraid of other's hatred, afraid of death, and afraid of loneliness. Yet, she chooses the path of a shinobi, a life filled with most of what she fears. After all, in order to become the person who you want to be, you have to overcome a fear or two.
1. Chapter 1

美夢: A Beautiful Dream

Author's Note: Hey guys! So I'm writing a self-insert. I know the Naruto community is saturated with them, but I wanted to try my hand at it. I'd appreciate any advice or constructive criticism you could give me! Thank you very much for reading!

Chapter 1: Beauty in the unknown

Megan's hands shook as she handed the older gentleman his change.

"Have a nice night, sir!" She said cheerfully, contrary to her nervous hands.

The corner of the older man's lip twitched before he slowly walked through the automatic doors.

"You too, sweetie." He said as he turned to leave. His cane clicking and dragging against the floor with each step he took

The girl exhaled shakily. She hated doing things like this. Every minute she worried, she stressed. She _hated_ talking to people, it made her so anxious. It also tended to make her over think things and mess up the task as a result.

Her thoughts were interrupted, when a young boy, with shoulder length curly sand colored hair, strolled to up to the counter and placed a Coke on its silvery surface.

"My staff numbers are 324678." He said without looking up from his phone. A hint of disinterest evident in his voice.

Megan felt a wave of insecurity and even a little bit of self-hate, wash over her as she put the tall boy's Coke through.

Before she could get the boy to pay, another coworker came by and rested her arm against the counter and began having a conversation with the boy. The girl had trained Megan, but whenever Megan tried to talk to her she tended to not say much and if she saw Megan walk by, she would ignore her.

The two in front of her laughed and talked for a few moments about school. Megan only watched and forced a polite smile on her face. No one talked like that with her. Why was it so hard to be interesting?

She pushed the thumbs she had in her jeans, harder against the edge of the pockets. Steeling herself from the automatic response of fleeing.

The older girl excused herself with a final laugh, before walking off to the break room to clock out. The boy sighed slightly before he paid by tapping his debit card against the machine and left without a single word. Megan wasn't sure if he would appreciate her wishing him a good break or not. So she said nothing.

They all hated her. She knew it. That could be the only explanation. All Megan wanted to do was go home, away from this place. Away from everyone. Why did she still work at this horrible place that only caused her stress? Why did she continue to exist even?

-

The store was closed now. Megan had already put her till away and had gone to the break room and grabbed her stuff from her locker.

She had to pry the automatic doors apart, in order to leave. She turned slightly and barely whispered an audible goodbye to the final coworkers in the store. They would be bothered or indifferent to her goodbye anyway, she thought.

With the close of the doors and the new feeling of fresh evening air, Megan felt a little better. She reached into her uniform pocket and pulled out a pair of tangled headphones, which she then plugged into her phone.

There wasn't much length to them now, after being so tangled, but Megan was too tired to spend a minute untangling them. So she walked to the bus stop, crossing the grass while listening to the soothing sounds of Chopin.

There was a highway that she needed to cross to get to the bus stop, so she pressed the pedestrian crosswalk button and waited patiently. The walk sign lit up and she hastily strode across. Her gait became a bit uneven when she began to think about messing up her walk, especially with so many people in cars watching her. She blushed at the awkwardness but pretended it didn't happen.

She was almost to the other side when her headphone fell out of her ear because of its short length. She stopped for barely a short period of time to place it back in.

She barely heard the screeches of the tires, her eyes met the green light in horror, before Megan closed them forever.

-

Everything looked fuzzy. She was wet and slimy. Her limbs flailed around her. Why couldn't she see? Where was the ground?

She heard faint mumblings. She felt hands around her waist, but they were way too big in comparison. Someone was holding her up with ease. Her eyes started to adjust a bit and the figure holding her came into view. A woman lying on the bed, sweat plastering stray hairs to her face, peered up at an impossible angle. A blissful look of pure happiness washed over the woman's face.

"Miyu, my darling baby girl." She brought the baby down to her face and gently nuzzled her. The woman breathed in the scent of her new child, savoring the moment.

Megan, the newly christened Miyu, could not understand a word, but she had started to understand her situation. Fear overcame her heart. She felt helpless. The shock hung in the air. Her eyes started to fill with tears before she began to scream loudly.

The woman - or rather mother - reeled back from the loud scream in her ear. She awkwardly tried to appease her new baby daughter by rocking her gently, but nothing stopped the screams.

A nurse in a light pink and white uniform walked into the room. She smiled lightly at the scene in remembrance of when she too first became a mother, before taking the baby from the mother's arms.

"Don't worry dear. It'll get easier." The nurse said reassuringly.

The tired woman on the bed looked worried and a bit scared. She was all alone after all. Her boyfriend had been killed on a mission before he even knew that she was pregnant. Her inability to calm the screams of her baby only stroked her worry that she wasn't made for raising a child.

"It'll be hard at first but you'll be able to do it. If you need any help just come in and ask for me. I'm a mother myself, I'll be happy to give you some advice." The nurse hoped the woman in front of her would do just that. Ninja tended to not understand regular and healthy baby development when they were part of a clan.

"I-I well, thank you!" The twenty-year-old woman and mother said. The worry relieved with the nurse's words. She would do her best to raise her daughter as a strong kunoichi and be the best mother she could be!

Miyu's screams had tapered off and she slept in the nurse's arms.

"I'm just going to take the baby to the nursery. Don't worry too much, you'll see her when you're ready to check out." The nurse said with a light smile. The brown haired nurse opened the sliding doors of the hospital room with one hand.

"I'm calling her Miyu." The woman said, interrupting the nurse as she started to leave.

"What a beautiful name." The brunette turned and said with a smile, before asking the woman if she needed anything else and leaving.

-

That night a demonic and fiery aura flooded the village. The nurse was so busy looking after injured patients she had forgotten about the baby she delivered that day.

The hospital was in pandemonium, people in many states of injury littered the hallways. The brunette nurse was worried about her children at home. Her only hope was that their father had gotten them out safely. She worked steadily for hours on end. The wave of injuries not seeming to likely stop.

A young Anbu man hobbled into the hospital. He announced the fall of the nine-tails, as well as the fourth Hokage. The nurse was still terrified for the life of her daughters, she couldn't stand to wait another moment. She would hesitate to admit, but she left her post when she found out the news and ran to the Hokage monument.

A crowd of adults and children emerged from the rock hiding place. She waited anxiously at the bottom hoping for her husband and children to be one of them. She started to cry when she saw the man she loved, holding both her daughter's hands in his. They were safe.

The embrace and reunion lasted only a few minutes, as she couldn't leave her job at the hospital for too long. The injured were still piling in. She hugged them one last time, before returning.

The halls were empty now. Most patients having been transferred into rooms. The horrors of the night had taken a toll on the hospital. Some of the west wing walls, near the birthing center, were missing.

The nurse heard it then.

An Anbu wearing a horse mask staggered into the hospital. Her side was impaled with a metal side beam of a building. 'The fact she was even walking in here at all!' The nurse thought.

"Miss, don't try to move just lay down!" She gestured to the gurney by the desk hastily.

The Anbu woman carefully slid onto the gurney but grabbed the nurses arm when she began to try to push her to the emergency ward.

The woman shook her head sadly and guided the nurse to her mask. The cracked horse mask slid off, revealing the pregnant woman who had recently delivered the baby, Miyu. The nurse gasped in horror.

"Protect my girl. Please. Our clan - they're dead and her father-" she began to cough up blood. The red splatters hitting the nurse's face.

"Please. She has no one. Our Miyu, just like her dad." She coughed some more.

"What's your name?" The nurse asked trying to keep the Anbu focused.

"Nakano Hayami." The woman said. The light in her eyes was greatly dimmed and the nurse's eyes started to water.

"My name's Shimizu Michiko." The nurse choked out, as a single tear ran down her face.

The Anbu woman smiled.

"Shimizu Michiko…" The woman dragged out. "Thank you." Her grip loosened around the nurse's arm and the Anbu's arm fell limp. Her eyes became unseeing and dim.

Shimizu Michiko made a noise at the back of her throat, before raising a shaky hand to the other woman's face and closing her eyes gently.

The day had taxed the Anbu. The birth and then fighting the demon. She was gone.

The nurse began to cry for the second time that night.

"I will tell your daughter what a hero you were." She whispered repeatedly to the corpse on the gurney. Still gripping the horse mask in her left hand.

Her sadness and anger at ninja life filled her. How could they ask a woman to fight after giving birth? Her tears fell on the woman, the Anbu, the mother, beneath her. The child Miyu's fate, forefront in her mind.

-

The nursery was quiet. Most of the night it had been filled with the screams of two distraught children. Now only one remained. The second had been whisked away in the climax of the battle. The one baby left behind lay sleeping in a white crib, with a sign that read Miyu in a black script written above.

The nurse knew if she didn't make a decision now the baby would go to the orphanage.

She picked up the girl swaddled in pink and stared at her intensely. Trying to _choose_ what the right decision was.

The baby looked so much like her daughters when they were born. Skin, pink and rosy, barely a hair on her head.

That decided it for her. Miyu would become a Shimizu.

-

The third Hokage was tired. After just stepping down from his post he was back in the office wearing the hat. Many people had died the night of the nine-tails attack. He felt too old and weary to be a Hokage. He just had a meeting with a female nurse who had adopted the child of one of his Anbu Black ops.

He remembered Horse. She was a good kunoichi. Strong and loyal. Too many died that night. Many people much younger than him, that deserved a long and happy life.

The child was born on the same day as the attack, the same day as Naruto. Both lost their parents that day. It caused his old heart to clench in sadness. He hoped both would have a happy childhood but sometimes life didn't go the way you hoped.

The nurse didn't tell the Hokage she kept the Anbu horse mask. She wanted to give it to Miyu when she became a ninja.

At first, she had resisted the idea, wanting to protect Miyu from the violence of the shinobi life, but she knew that being a ninja would be what Miyu's mother would want. She would want her daughter to protect the village, just like she herself died for.

The village spent months in reparation. So many businesses and houses had been torn down. Even years after there would be evidence of that night.

The nurse's husband was reluctant to take in a child when they may not have the money to afford it but caved when Mrs. Shimizu told the story of Miyu's Anbu mother sacrificing her life for the village.

Miyu was a difficult child at first. She spent most of her time bursting into tears and screaming the first two months living with the Shimizu family. After the two months, she became so quiet Mrs. Shimizu was worried there was something wrong. She took her to visit the doctor, but he had said that it was only a light case of chakra sensitivity.

The nurse worried for her youngest daughter. She tried to be as loving and attentive as possible, but it was difficult working the hours she did at the hospital. Her husband was not often at home as well, as he had a business as a merchant going village to village selling his product.

Miyu ended up being left to be raised by her other daughters. Those daughters, twins, believed Miyu was really their sister. They were too young to understand what was happening when the baby was brought home. Only being about three years older than Miyu, after all. They loved their baby sister and both spent a great many hours of their day, playing mother and dress up with her at their daycare.

Miyu, of course, was still coming to terms with this unlikely reincarnation. Not to mention the loss of a mother she would never get to know. She was intensely depressed, living a life where her opinions couldn't be heard and where she couldn't do anything for herself. Her new sisters were the only light in her life. They played with her and entertained her. They respected her in a way an adult never could a child. Miyu loved them. And so this routine of daily life continued until Miyu was 2 years old and her sisters became 5 and had to go to school.

A/N: I tend to be a bit jumpy between characters, so hopefully no one was confused by that! Once again, thank you for reading! I don't have a beta so excuse any mistakes I made! I'll try to update again as soon as possible (but you know, school's being a pain in the *** :P)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The pretty lies and the ugly truth

* * *

Aiko, the oldest twin, was currently running excitedly around the house while Ai, the youngest, tied back Miyu's shoulder length orange hair with a green hairband. Ai calmly grabbed Aiko by the back of her shirt after she ran by the third time.

"Calm down Aiko, god. We have to get Miyu ready for daycare." She huffed.

"Oh shut it Ai, you're not the boss of me." Aiko retorted as she fought to be released from Ai's grip on her shirt to no success.

Miyu grinned from behind her bangs. Sometimes being the youngest sister was amusing. She would admit somewhat reluctantly, to loving the attention she received from her sisters in this life.

In her first life, she had been the oldest. Her brother had been two years younger and had been born with Asperger's. While Miyu had loved her little brother fiercely, she had also faced a slight bit of jealousy, as her brother needed constant attention from her parents in order for him to succeed at school.

Miyu tried to be a perfect daughter for her parents, in order to take the stress off of them. That ultimately didn't stop the past her from being happy and loud while at school.

Miyu looked upon her past, confident self with wistfulness. She had somehow lost that self-assuredness with time and began to worry about how others, not just her family, perceived her. She lost any spark she once had and retreated within herself in order to avoid dislike from others. She avoided many things and winded up, instead, disliking herself.

That leads up to where Miyu was hit by a car and killed after walking to the bus from her part-time job. When she had first awoken in this new life, she had been shocked and scared. Much of the first year, she believed it was all just a dream.

However, reality began to sink in for her when every day continued to drag on, clear and slow, not at all like how a dream worked. Not to mention, the so-called dream was all in Japanese. A language she had known little about before now (she still mixed up her sentences sometimes). All of the evidence caused her to wake up to the reality of the situation. Her past self died and she was no longer Megan, but instead, Miyu. Being a child had allowed her to break past the self-built wall within. She still worried about being hated and avoided the other kids her age, but somehow it was easier being herself when she was a kid, and no one had any big expectations of her.

Her new sisters were going to school today. They hadn't talked about it much, clearly not wanting to upset her daycare-stuck-ass (it was horribly boring). In fact, the only ones who really talked to Miyu were her sisters. No adults talked much around her. Except for the occasional baby talk when she was younger and sometimes random strangers cooing about how cute she was when Miyu and her sisters walked home together. Miyu wasn't sure how'd she'd pass the time at the god-forsaken daycare until she got to go to school herself.

Miyu was interrupted from her thoughts by Aiko suddenly poking her in the forehead.

"Don't worry Miyu! We'll play with you when we get home!" Aiko gave her a toothy grin.

Miyu nodded awkwardly, Aiko's finger still on her forehead.

"Come on guys," Ai said while putting on her sandals, "Get your shoes on. We have to go!"

Aiko pulled her finger away from Miyu's head and raced to the door to put on her new pink sandals she had gotten from their mother. Miyu also put on her sandals.

* * *

"Hey Ai, have you _actually_ ever thought of being a Ninja? You know, going to the academy?" Aiko asked, her arms resting crossed behind her head, a considering look on her face. Slightly dragging her feet on the dirt road beneath her.

Ai gave Aiko a dirty look, "You know how mom feels about _us_ being ninja's, Aiko."

"Whatever, it was just a thought," Aiko said with a sour look on her face.

Miyu was super confused. She had played ninja with them before but thought it was just a game. Did they actually believe ninjas were real or something? Whatever, let them believe what they wanted. They were only five after all.

The sisters had finally arrived at the daycare. Miyu waved an extremely reluctant goodbye after her sisters had hugged her. God, she was going to die from boredom.

Her days at the daycare were to be much like before, but now that Miyu was two turning three, she was to be placed in pre-school classes.

 _Ugh why me? I already know the colors and animals and shit. If I have to suffer through even one lame kid's song, I'm going to just escape._ She thought grumpily.

In the entrance of the building was the log-in desk, where a daycare leader sat, a ridiculous smile on her face.

"Miyu-chan! Welcome back! You excited for tots!"

Miyu gave the green haired woman her best glare. _Being called 'Miyu-chan', gross._ It sent chills down her back. It brought back memories of this one anime obsessed girl she sat with during school.

"Don't worry Miyu-chan! I know you're nervous about making friends, now that your sisters are away at school, but I'll be there to help you! You're going to be having a lot of fun!" The lady with the stupid hair color said, her hand pointed up in the air with emphasis on her final sentence.

Miyu frowned more. People in this new life were so weird. Overly enthusiastic, dressed weirdly – almost as if in a different time entirely, but somehow TVs still existed – and to top it off had ridiculous eye-blinding hair colors.

Miyu really would have considered the possibility of being in a different dimension, instead of just being reborn. If she hadn't been heavily leaning towards the theory that she had been placed in a time where Japan had to rebuild itself after a nuclear holocaust. That seemed much more plausible, right?

When Miyu didn't reply the lady just grabbed her hand and led her off to the pre-school room.

"Here we are Miyu-chan! Your tots teacher is Mr. Yamada. He's a great guy you're going to love him!" The green-haired teacher said enthusiastically, "Tots class is only during naptime for the young ones, so you'll still get some play time to make new friends! Have an amazing-fantastic-wonderful day Miyu-chan!" She said with a smile that barely moved while she talked.

 _Creepy._ Miyu thought with a shudder, confident that the lady had lost any individual thought long ago.

She used her small arms to open the sliding doors and started to walk into the classroom. Only to trip on her new sandals and fall into a mop bucket that was left near the door.

"Stupid!" A young blond boy said between giggles. The rest of the kids there laughed along with him.

Miyu would have glared if it were her sisters, but she was surrounded by a bunch of toddlers laughing at her expense. All she could do was stand there covered in muddy water, in horror and shame.

"Everyone quiet!" Yelled a voice behind her, making her small body jump. The man glared at the young boy.

"You! What's your name?!" The man she assumed was the pre-school teacher demanded.

The boy flinched a bit. "Naruto." He said quietly, pulling down on his oversized white shirt.

 _Naruto? That name…_

The man's face suddenly grew darker.

"Outside!" He pointed to the hallway angrily.

The boy named Naruto looked frightened for a second, before he slammed his arms to his sides and screamed a childish, "No! Didn't do nothin'"

"No?!" the teacher echoed back a tick mark appearing on his forehead.

"No!" The boy said once again.

"Go outside, demon-brat!" Screamed the teacher, his face red.

The boy looked hurt by his words but refused to move from the room. In the end, the pre-school teacher ended up dragging him into the hallway.

When he came back he told Miyu to go to the main desk and ask Ren (the green-haired woman) to take Miyu to the bathroom and clean herself up, as he had to calm the other toddlers in the room down.

She had to walk by the boy in the hallway on her way back to the desk. His name and personality reminded her of a character from her past. She was terrified to look at him, because if he was who she thought he was and her suspicions were true. She was in a world more dangerous than she originally thought.

The boy didn't look up at her either as she walked by. Shadows covered his face. His loneliness almost visible. All he could think was, _'I didn't do nothing bad, why do they hate me'_?

* * *

Miyu's thoughts were still full of fear. She needed to know effective immediately if she really was in the world she was beginning to suspect. When she finally reached the desk, Ren jumped up in shock.

"What happened Miyu-chan?!" Ren asked as she started fussing over Miyu's drenched hair and clothes.

"Tripped," Miyu said tersely. Her thoughts distracted by the dark possibility.

Ren took Miyu to the bathroom and washed out the dirty water from her hair. When the green-haired woman was done she also gave Miyu a new shirt and a pair of shorts from the lost-and-found bin.

"There. Isn't that better?" Ren said a gentle smile on her face.

"Thank you," Miyu responded absent-mindedly. All she could hope was that her theory would be proven wrong.

"Ren-sensei. Where do we live?" She asked.

The daycare teacher grinned, "The village hidden in the leaves, Konoha! Only the best ninja village in the whole elemental continent!"

Miyu's hopeful face fell. She was going to die. Again.

Why had she never thought to ask where she lived? She just assumed it was Japan. That assumption may have truly screwed her. She had spent two years of this life just enjoying the lack of stress! She could have-

What else could she have truly done. Nothing. She was a child here, lacking control. For the first time in a long time, she felt rage at her own helplessness. She just wanted to break something, but all she could do was stand in the bathroom, body shaking and stare at the ground.

Ren frowned, before placing her hand on Miyu's pale forehead, "Miyu-chan what's wrong? Are you okay? Are you feeling cold from the water?"

Miyu shrugged off the woman's hand and stormed out of the restroom.

"Miyu-chan! Where are you going?! Miyu-chan!" Ren asked confused as she ran after her.

She had nowhere to go but she needed to be alone. No one ever let her be alone here.

"Leave me alone!" Miyu shouted at the shocked green-haired woman, accentuating the statement with the movement of her arms.

"Is this because you feel embarrassed about what happened in front of the other kids?" Ren questioned gently, her eyes soft.

Miyu glared and started to protest, "N-"

 _Maybe this will get her off your case?_ She thought midway through saying no.

"Yeah, sure! Just go away!"

"I can't do that Miyu-chan. How about the both of us go read a story?" Ren said trying to sway the young girl from a temper tantrum.

"Why won't anyone leave me alone!"

Miyu felt so helpless. Everything was out of her control. She was taken away to another world - into the body of a baby, where none of the decisions she was used to making were up to her.

She barely noticed the tears falling down her round cheeks.

"Miyu-chan…" Ren said sympathy in her tone.

"It's okay Miyu-chan. It's okay." Ren soothed, as she hugged Miyu softly and rubbed her back.

Miyu accepted the hug, even though it managed to make her feel more alone than ever before. She knew she wasn't understood and that she likely never would be. What she would give for a bout of amnesia.

Knowing the things, she did. How could she hope to survive with her sanity intact?

* * *

AU: So that was the second chapter hopefully, you guys liked it! Thanks for reading!


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